laughinguntilithurts:

tastefullyoffensive:

This kid was born for politics.

sharonosbourne:

me on my way to steal your man

monetizeyourcat:

unimpressedcats:

the ham … it’s… it’s …… argghhhhhh

i love when cats’ programming glitches out

• (I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
• Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
• Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
• Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
• Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
• (I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)